Faith, Hope, and Love.

It's been the gloomiest these past few days in California since I've been back. It's been so long since it rained, I almost forgot about how much I love it. The fresh, crisp morning with cold wind piercing your face while you have some hot coffee and a nice morning cigarette as you start your day. Perfection. It's business time. Strenuous. As time gradually progresses to my move in December, it seems just the appropriate time to take care of all business before I part with California and continue my new chapter in New York. Having two more months of fall semester seems tedious taking mediocre classes, but it would be foolish to not finish what I started. These next two months will be filled with financial difficulties, court dates, and medical procedures that I cannot even begin to imagine what will be like. This year to this point has been, to say the least, a hell of roller coaster. Gaining new friendships, losing friendships that, to be honest, shouldn't have been attempted from the get-go, a couple hair color changes, vacationing in San Francisco, Vegas, Palm Springs, New York, and countless hustlin' & bustlin' jobs, and falling in love with the most sweetest, ruthless, compassionate, funniest person I have ever met in my life.. my bestfriend. Thousands of memories made in one year alone. I was in New York with TJ when I got the frantic call from my mother back home to call my doctor. Serious news? but I didn't really care. As soon as I came back to California, surprisingly, I didn't take immediate action to my medical needs. I didn't tell my family or friends what the risk was until after my consultation. The only people who simply knew there was an issue, but not in detail, was my mom and TJ. It's now been about two in a half weeks since I got the first news of my high risk of cancer and the appearance of pre-cancer cells in my body. My family, boyfriend and close friends are aware, and I'm so appreciative of their support and prayers. I'm young, so my hopes is that age will be in my favor. As scary as this is, because I hate all things medical, I'm determined to not let this affect my New York move.

I have all the people I need in my life. No bullshit. No drama. Nothing by respect and fun times. I'll maintain my optimism.

Come December, there will be nothing holding me back anymore. Putting off New York two-three years ago was a blessing in disguise. I've learned (and saved) a lot, and have gotten closer to my family. It saddens me, and concerns me that I'm leaving my mom, (dad), and brother behind, but I have complete faith that they'll be fine without me. Though there were many rocky times and subtle humble moments, my family is the only reason why I would ever return back to California...
..but I'm ready for New York. I have a very important person there waiting for me.



I'm coming home soon, baby.

Summer In A Nutshell.

We will always remember the conversation/feeling prior to you arriving, Fontana, the nasty couch, Vegas, Pasadena, Rancho, Palm Springs, every fast food joint in the tri-state area, the unforgivable night we did back-to-back fast food, the uncontrollable jokes (under der), the afternoon delights, "blood", bonfires, passionate Moulin Rouge medleys, getting pulled over twice in the same day, the endless Maruchan ramen, lumpia, the NON-raging because everybody in California drives, awkward moments, sunrises, meeting both families as lovers, getting out of the cab and seeing you on Nth 8th & Bedford, hating Ella, bacon bagels, sweltering days, my first night in Manhattan, New York in general, all the "firsts" we ever did together, bittersweet board game triumphs, avoiding peanuts, avoiding the combination of beer, spaghetti, salad, icecream, cigarettes, and pistachios, learning every quirk about each other, the disheartening goodbyes, staring in each others eyes before falling asleep and waking up, every standstill moment we wished would never end, wanting time to fasten and slow down at the same time. Everything. This was our summer. More importantly, we will always remember the beautiful love that we shared.

Thank you for the best summer of my life. I love you, Thomas Jay Kyle Lorbes, II.





I wish it never ended.

Too Excited To Function.

The days are approaching to my trip to New York. I have been anticipating this trip before TJ even left California :} I have been too excited for words. He's technically only been gone for a week, but we have both agreed it feels longer than a month. Sad. I've been devasted since he's been gone, talking about him to anyone with ears, and it's only been one week. It has gotten to the point where the person doesn't even need to be willing to listen, I will just go on a mindless rant about him. It ridiculous to imagine how a month will be; two, three, and four? I didn't sleep at all last night. Went to Banana Bay for double drinks for Brett's last day with the boys. Stayed for about an hour before coming home around midnight. For some reason I couldn't sleep at all. It was around 5am when TJ was texting me, asking me what time I came home last night. We got into a somewhat serious convo through text as he went to visit his mom in Boston. I really do imagine a very happy, thrilling future with him. He is everything I want and need in my life. He is my bestfriend and lover in every aspect. We started out as best friends, so I'm hoping we can persevere through the struggles of being new lovers. My entire family and friends adore him. Sigh. He says I'm the biggest reason why he's working hard to move back home :{ I really hope it's true. I'm basically working on my goals right now to sortof keep me occupied until he comes home to LA for good next summer. I must be patient, though. I miss him terribly. I really can't wait til Thursday. Two more days.


I played piano for a couple hours until 11am before finally going to sleep. I fell asleep listening to Classical music.


PUBLISHED:
7/4 Fourth of July
7/12 Happy Birthday, Krystal Marie!
7/22 Bullshit
7/30 Viva Las Vegas
8/8 Farewell, Brett

Farewell, Brett.

Brett leaves for ASU on Tuesday. With all the parties he has ever thrown at his house, this one would be one in the books. An array of humor and sadness, Sharpies, beerpong, flip cup, rain dances, titty flashing, eggrolls and cheese quesadillas, through the countless cigarettes, he finally leaves his comfort nest of Hacienda Heights. It's amazing to think his graduation party was only a month ago.

Ok no, Eddie. Why was this in my camera? :l

I broke it :(

I missed him a lot that night.

Krystal had a wide clientele.

Classy.

Way cute.

Haha, Jasmine called me out towards the end of the night. Saying I was a bitch for ignoring her all these years and for being too cool :) She said I looked cute prior, so I guess it made everything okay. Haha, I got a Starbucks card from her, enough to buy an iced coffee. Jasmine is much, but definitely the life of the party .. on crack.

Haha, let the debachery begin.

I love dick. Jizz. Anarchy. Flamed arms. Gangster tear.

Open oppurtunity.

HAHAHAHA.

Good sport. Beauty is he had NO idea.

Just in time for a 4am group shot. Leftovers.

The icing. Pineapple & dog toy.

:D

Haha, time for bed.

Eric's car.

End time: 5am.


It was a fun night. At one point, about 15+ people from the Loud&Obnoxious Co. showed up, and then left after a couple games of beer pong. Quickie. Tape was absolutely everywhere. We hung the remaining tape used to hold down Brett on his ceiling in his room. Brett said he woke up the next morning freaking out because he thought someone was trying to send him a message to hang him, hahahah. Sadly, Brett's last day of work was suppose to be that morning at 5am. Being as trashed as he was, he didn't make it. It was his last night. He had to go out with a bang. Brett will be missed as he's in Arizona. The best parties were always at his house. Chillest parents known to man. I've known Brett for a good number of years now. Meeting in the prime of the hardcore/scene nonsense. Embarassing years. Singing Fear Before the March of Flames in the halls. His band Die Queen Die, HAHA. Double drinks at Banana Bay. Numerous times .. me always flaking :) We've grown a lot. He is like a brother to me. Always giving the best advice and looking out for me. He's cool with Krystal and Thomas Jay, which I love. My two favorite people. I love you, Brett, and I wish you the best with the future.

See you in Pheonix on the Thirteenth and Twenty-second! :D